Let’s face it. Non-Stop is not an easy film to sit through. But hand me a bottle of Jägermeister (large, please) and an abundance of shot glasses and it would be a different matter entirely. So, for your enjoyment and the promise of your sanity, here’s the rules to the Non-Stop Drinking Game. I’ll meet you on its Home Ent release date with a sleeping bag and a couple of paracetamol. Bottoms up.
DRINK WHENEVER:
– Bill’s family (that’s Neeson, obvs) is threatened.
– An Oscar-winning (or nominated) actor says a line that makes you want to blow your brains out. This includes Scoot McNairy, Corey Stoll and Shea Whigham who totes have it in them to win a gold statue.
– Bar Paly is treated as horrifically generic.
– You are told how much money needs to be transferred.
– The network goes down.
– The network goes up again.
– You’re confused if the network is up or down.
– One of the air hostesses looks like an extra from Star Trek.
– You think you know who the culprit is.
– Expositional dialogue is spoken. Hell, finish your drink.
– You are envious of Lupita’s amazing guns.
– Lady Mary looks concerned.
– You forget this isn’t Taken.
– Lupita says something in a flawless accent and makes everyone else look rubbish. Cheers!
– You laugh at the name of the airline.
– Corey Stoll looks like he means business.
– Bill uses predictive text in a ridiculous way. E.G.: He types out ‘passengers’, but can’t be arsed with something shorter.
– You laugh, but aren’t meant to.
– Shea Whigham is criminally wasted. Again.
– The camera wants you to suspect somebody.
– Someone makes a generic terrorism reference.
– You forgot Linus Roache existed.
– Someone says ‘wanker’. Us Brits can’t stop.
– Julianne Moore makes you question your sexuality. Females only.
– You stop caring.
– Something nonsensical happens. Down your drink, then pour another. Down that one too – you need to get through this somehow.
– The passengers putting their hands in the air look like they’re having more fun than you.
VERDICT: 2/5
Emma Thrower 