The Non-Stop Drinking Game

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Let’s face it. Non-Stop is not an easy film to sit through. But hand me a bottle of Jägermeister (large, please) and an abundance of shot glasses and it would be a different matter entirely. So, for your enjoyment and the promise of your sanity, here’s the rules to the Non-Stop Drinking Game. I’ll meet you on its Home Ent release date with a sleeping bag and a couple of paracetamol. Bottoms up.

DRINK WHENEVER:

– Bill’s family (that’s Neeson, obvs) is threatened.

– An Oscar-winning (or nominated) actor says a line that makes you want to blow your brains out. This includes Scoot McNairy, Corey Stoll and Shea Whigham who totes have it in them to win a gold statue.

– Bar Paly is treated as horrifically generic.

– You are told how much money needs to be transferred.

– The network goes down.

– The network goes up again.

– You’re confused if the network is up or down.

– One of the air hostesses looks like an extra from Star Trek.

– You think you know who the culprit is.

– Expositional dialogue is spoken. Hell, finish your drink.

– You are envious of Lupita’s amazing guns.

– Lady Mary looks concerned.

– You forget this isn’t Taken.

– Lupita says something in a flawless accent and makes everyone else look rubbish. Cheers!

– You laugh at the name of the airline.

– Corey Stoll looks like he means business.

– Bill uses predictive text in a ridiculous way. E.G.: He types out ‘passengers’, but can’t be arsed with something shorter.

– You laugh, but aren’t meant to.

– Shea Whigham is criminally wasted. Again.

– The camera wants you to suspect somebody.

– Someone makes a generic terrorism reference.

– You forgot Linus Roache existed.

– Someone says ‘wanker’. Us Brits can’t stop.

– Julianne Moore makes you question your sexuality. Females only.

– You stop caring.

– Something nonsensical happens. Down your drink, then pour another. Down that one too – you need to get through this somehow.

– The passengers putting their hands in the air look like they’re having more fun than you.

VERDICT: 2/5

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