Tag Archives: march

What I’m Watching – March 2014

This list only includes films I watched for the first time this month. My most recent viewing is the top entry.

Noah (Darren Aronofsky, 2014) **

Drinking Buddies (Dir: Joe Swanberg, 2013) ****

Bad Neighbours (Dir: Nicholas Stoller, 2014)

Our Idiot Brother (Dir: Jesse Peretz, 2011) ****

Soapdish (Dir: Michael Hoffman, 1991) ****

Girl, Interrupted (Dir: James Mangold, 1999) ****

Pi (Dir: Darren Aronofsky, 1998) ****

Cry-Baby (Dir: John Waters, 1990) ***

20 Feet From Stardom (Dir: Morgan Neville, 2013) *****

Benny & Joon (Dir: Jeremiah Chechik, 1993) ***

The Way, Way Back (Dir: Nat Faxon, Jim Rash, 2013) ****

Starred Up (Dir: David Mackenzie, 2013) ****

Divergent (Dir: Neil Burger, 2014) ***

Tracks (Dir: John Curran, 2013) ****

World’s Greatest Dad (Dir: Bobcat Goldthwait, 2009) ***

The Heat (Dir: Paul Feig, 2013) ***

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Dir: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo, 2014) ***

Veronica Mars (Dir: Rob Thomas, 2014) ***

Her (Dir: Spike Jonze, 2013) *****

300: Rise Of An Empire (Dir: Noam Murro, 2014) **

Non-Stop (Dir: Jaume Collet-Serra, 2014) **

The Grand Budapest Hotel (Dir: Wes Anderson, 2014) *****

RoboCop (Dir: Paul Verhoeven, 1987) *****

Advertisements

The Non-Stop Drinking Game

maxresdefault-1

Let’s face it. Non-Stop is not an easy film to sit through. But hand me a bottle of Jägermeister (large, please) and an abundance of shot glasses and it would be a different matter entirely. So, for your enjoyment and the promise of your sanity, here’s the rules to the Non-Stop Drinking Game. I’ll meet you on its Home Ent release date with a sleeping bag and a couple of paracetamol. Bottoms up.

DRINK WHENEVER:

– Bill’s family (that’s Neeson, obvs) is threatened.

– An Oscar-winning (or nominated) actor says a line that makes you want to blow your brains out. This includes Scoot McNairy, Corey Stoll and Shea Whigham who totes have it in them to win a gold statue.

– Bar Paly is treated as horrifically generic.

– You are told how much money needs to be transferred.

– The network goes down.

– The network goes up again.

– You’re confused if the network is up or down.

– One of the air hostesses looks like an extra from Star Trek.

– You think you know who the culprit is.

– Expositional dialogue is spoken. Hell, finish your drink.

– You are envious of Lupita’s amazing guns.

– Lady Mary looks concerned.

– You forget this isn’t Taken.

– Lupita says something in a flawless accent and makes everyone else look rubbish. Cheers!

– You laugh at the name of the airline.

– Corey Stoll looks like he means business.

– Bill uses predictive text in a ridiculous way. E.G.: He types out ‘passengers’, but can’t be arsed with something shorter.

– You laugh, but aren’t meant to.

– Shea Whigham is criminally wasted. Again.

– The camera wants you to suspect somebody.

– Someone makes a generic terrorism reference.

– You forgot Linus Roache existed.

– Someone says ‘wanker’. Us Brits can’t stop.

– Julianne Moore makes you question your sexuality. Females only.

– You stop caring.

– Something nonsensical happens. Down your drink, then pour another. Down that one too – you need to get through this somehow.

– The passengers putting their hands in the air look like they’re having more fun than you.

VERDICT: 2/5

Not Quite A Haiku Review: Her (2013)

BiYkLLZIgAARR7y
I just fell in love.
Is it possible to marry a film?
Siri, please wipe my tears.

Theodore works for Star-Lord, apparently.
Please let me be his Mrs. Twombly.
I like future Los Angeles.

Scarlett’s sultry tones are magnetic.
Kudos to you moving aside, Samantha Morton.
That surrogate shit be cray.

Get excited about future games.
That little cartoon dude begs for abuse.
Everybody loves Mr. Adam Spiegel.

Here’s to Oscar-winning Spike Jonze.
And dedicatees Yauch, Savides, Sendak and Gandolfini.
Don’t go humping the fridge.

VERDICT: 5/5

Review: Maniac (2012)

Maniac1

***THIS REVIEW WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE HOLLYWOOD NEWS, HERE***

Director: Franck Khalfoun.

Starring: Elijah Wood, Nora Arnezeder, Megan Duffy, America Olivo.

Running Time: 89 minutes.

Certificate: 18.

SynopsisFrank (Elijah Wood) is an attractive yet awkward shop owner with a fetish for scalps. As his mental state worsens when a young artist, Anna (Nora Arnezeder) enters his life, his potent thirst for blood threatens to ruin any chance of a normal friendship.

Opening to slick city streets and electronic beats, Franck Khalfoun’s remake of William Lustig’s 1980 cult horror is reminiscent of the Los Angeles presented in Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive. But don’t be fooled, as the contemporary city setting is soon unveiled as a dirty, dangerous place where the days are bathed in claustrophobic greyish hues and not even an apartment corridor or parking lot is safe. Continue reading

Review: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (2013)

1779269

***THIS REVIEW WAS ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE HOLLYWOOD NEWS, HERE***

Director: Don Scardino.

Starring: Steve Carell, Steve Buscemi, Olivia Wilde, Jim Carrey, James Gandolfini, Alan Arkin, Jay Mohr, Michael Bully Herbig.

Running Time: 100 minutes.

Certificate: 15.

SynopsisAfter spending years at the top of their game on the Las Vegas strip, childhood friends Burt Wonderstone (Steve Carell) and Anton Marvelton (Steve Buscemi) are losing their audience to outrageous street magician, Steve Gray (Jim Carrey). With the help of their assistant Jane (Olivia Wilde), the duo search for the ultimate illusion to win over a new generation of fans.

Having directed nearly forty episodes of 30 Rock, Don Scardino is no stranger to offbeat comedy, but The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is a refreshing surprise for an audience who have become increasingly comfortable amongst the current run of Apatow-schtick. Penned by two of the writers behind Horrible Bosses, there are some thigh slapping one-liners, but the film is all the richer for not completely saturating itself with jokes, instead becoming a master class in how to keep repeated gags consistently funny amidst cameos and satirical jabs. Continue reading

Nic Cage Had A Dream

‘That night, I had a dream. I drifted off thinking about happiness, birth and new life, but now I was haunted by a vision of… He was horrible. The lone biker of apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. He could turn the day into night and lay to waste everything in his path. He was especially hard on little things – the helpless and the gentle creatures. He left a scorched earth in his wake befouling even the sweet desert breeze that whipped across his brow. I didn’t know where he came from or why. I didn’t know if he was dream or vision. But I feared that I myself had unleashed him.’

Nic Cage can predict the future.

Nicolas-Cage-Confirmed-For-Ghost-Rider-2

Anyone fancy a trip back to 1987?

Yes, Yes, Well Done Affleck, But…

Don’t get me wrong, I liked Argo – I really, really liked Argo – but it wasn’t my favourite film of 2012. That title belongs to Shame, with Beasts Of The Southern Wild in second place.

So thank you Steve McQueen for using Twelve Years A Slave to bring this little one…

tumblr_miqz7vMrUA1qdym4po1_500

…and this, err, not so little one together.

fassbender1