Tag Archives: sullivan stapleton

Not Quite A Haiku Review: 300: Rise Of An Empire (2014)

300-rise-of-an-empire-sullivan-stapleton-bow-arrow

THIS IS DULL, LACKLUSTRE SPARTA!
A sequel that runs parallel to 300.
It isn’t very much fun.

Stapleton is nae Gerry B.
He graduated from Sam Worthington’s English school.
You’ll hardly remember him tomorrow.

We always see your tits,
But damn Eva, y u so fit?
Your combat earcuff be bangin’.

Calisto’s pa is rather young.
Jack O’Connell seems so out of place.
Oh hello David Wenham’s thighs.

Rodrigo Santoro is barely recognisable.
Make sure you play ‘Spot Michael Fassbender’.
Very stylish, but incredibly boring.

VERDICT: 2/5

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