Not Quite A Haiku Review: 300: Rise Of An Empire (2014)

300-rise-of-an-empire-sullivan-stapleton-bow-arrow

THIS IS DULL, LACKLUSTRE SPARTA!
A sequel that runs parallel to 300.
It isn’t very much fun.

Stapleton is nae Gerry B.
He graduated from Sam Worthington’s English school.
You’ll hardly remember him tomorrow.

We always see your tits,
But damn Eva, y u so fit?
Your combat earcuff be bangin’.

Calisto’s pa is rather young.
Jack O’Connell seems so out of place.
Oh hello David Wenham’s thighs.

Rodrigo Santoro is barely recognisable.
Make sure you play ‘Spot Michael Fassbender’.
Very stylish, but incredibly boring.

VERDICT: 2/5

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6 responses to “Not Quite A Haiku Review: 300: Rise Of An Empire (2014)

  1. Your combat earcuff be bangin’.
    Was gonna spear clear of this one, but have to see the film now; I fucking love bagning earcuffs!

  2. Rofl this is a lame review, the film was great. Very romantisized action and history but was very entertaining! This got me hyped for a great boxing session

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