Bitesize Review: Men In Black 3 (2012)

DIRECTOR: Barry Sonnenfeld.

CAST: Will Smith, Josh Brolin, Tommy Lee Jones, Jemaine Clement, Michael Stuhlbarg, Emma Thompson, Michael Chernus, Alice Eve, Mike Colter, Bill Hader.

SYNOPSIS: When a revenge-driven alien (Clement) travels back in time to kill K (Jones), J (Smith) must convince a young K (Brolin) to help him prevent a change in history and save the fate of the Earth.

My broken arm calls for a slightly different (and bitesize) reviewing format. So here’s ten things I want to say about Men In Black 3:

1. I don’t understand why this film is called Men In Black 3 when it used roman numerals for Men In Black II. Is this Sonnenfeld’s way of trying to forget about the abysmal second film?

2. It admittedly does feel far newer than 2002’s sloppy sequel, but there’s nothing particularly exciting on show and it is at points mind numbingly formulaic.

3. This trilogy has the potential to be action packed and hilarious, but even the rocked up theme tune does nothing to help make this third installment feel like a progression. But there are some great little laugh out loud moments in there (mainly courtesy of Stuhlbarg and Clement) and it’s fun watching who Sonnenfeld plucked from the obscure world of celebrity to be secret aliens this time around. I won’t spoil it for you, though some are pretty obvious.

4. Josh Brolin is a very welcome addition to the cast, both interesting and engaging as the younger K, while Jemaine Clement brings a real bassy intimidation and natural humour to Boris – even if fans of Flight Of The Conchords will find it hard to separate his accent from his David Bowie voice.

5. Nicole Scherzinger and Alice Eve’s roles are little more than glorified cameos. They are there to look pretty while Emma Thompson keeps it classy – apart from one rather startling outburst. Saying that, Scherzinger’s silent entrance is more impressive than the entirety of Rihanna’s Battleship screen time.

6. Thank goodness for Griffin (Stuhlbarg). I’m pretty certain a lot of people may find him irritating, but I thought he made the whole film worth watching, while being in equal parts Robin Williams, Chris Colfer, Tobey Maguire and Elijah Wood. If they remade Mork and Mindy, it would be him calling Orson.

7. WILL SMITH DOES NOT LOOK ANY OLDER.

8. Although Men In Black 3 is stupidly forgettable, at least it isn’t a case of too many cooks like last time and Clement is far more fun and enjoyable to watch than Lara Flynn Boyle. It’s in another league compared to its predecessor, but neither of them come close to the original.

9. The ending may pack a very unexpected punch, but it’s too little too late as there is no weight to the rest of the (very predictable) film.

10. To call Men In Black 3 boring is a little unfair as it will keep you fairly entertained – come on, who doesn’t love Jones and Brolin – but it is unfortunately incredibly bland and unmemorable in the long run.

VERDICT: 2/5

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