Trailer Talk: My Big Fat Marvelgasm, Claymation Ghosts, The Hoff And Disney’s Attempt At Dubstep

I love this week’s selection of trailers, which you may find surprising seeing how I’ve actually been a little harsh towards some – very unlike me, I know. But there’s such a brilliant mix to choose from, including some great animation, thrillers, comedy and some not so great ones. But hey, that’s all part of the fun. This week Nadine and I look at (deep breath please) The Stath, the supernatural, that pesky John Carter again, more Marvel characters than you can shake a stick at, David Hasselhoff, Snoop Stiller, Adam Sandler’s weird career, a resurrected canine, little yellow minions, morticians, American Football, claymation ghosts, John McClane and Superman, coming of age indie quirkiness and Norwegian murders. Let’s talk trailers:

SAFE:

EMMA: Sorry, was that an American accent, Stath? I get confused. I can imagine this trailer makes a fair percentage of men get rather excited – and some women, too, knowing my best friend Janie as well as I do. But as for me, it leaves me slightly cold. Yes, it’s all well and good seeing a cheeky bit of comedy from Mr S, but I’d be surprised if this film is anything beyond what he’s previously done. I must admit I’m a fan of the New York setting and this second trailer definitely gives us far more nonstop action than the first. It cracked me up when they put the title against an actual safe at the end, though. Classic Stath.

NADINE: Sixty seconds of Jason Statham doing what he does best – with an American accent. This sixty-second trailer obviously plays on showing a lot of the action scenes, making the film look exciting. I think this film will come out a little better than most of Statham’s typecasted films because of the little girl involved, making Statham look more like a hero than some street maniac.

THE MOTH DIARIES:

EMMA: I have serious issues with this film before I even start talking about the trailer. Mary Harron should be huge. I will never understand how someone can make a film like American Psycho and never again reach the same sort of dizzying heights. I guess we have to put that down to Bale’s blinding performance and the story from Bret Easton Ellis. And then we come to Lily Cole, dear old Lily Cole who I just couldn’t bring myself to like in Terry Gilliam’s Parnassus. She needs to find a role that makes everyone stand up and pay attention or I don’t see her acting career lasting very long. Yes, her English accent and unique look make her a rather creepy addition to The Moth Diaries, but I’m questioning whether these three main girls have the acting potential to  make this anything better than a mediocre, boarding school nightmare – for them and the audience.

NADINE: From the director of American Psycho, Mary Harron, The Moth Diaries is also based on a novel, so surely we should expect it to be good. But from the trailer, The Moth Diaries looks highly flawed and the acting talent seems to let it down. Lily Cole looks freakishly scary in this and I got a few chills from this trailer, but I don’t think anything about it looks good for a cinema audience. For a TV film, however, I think the film would do well.

JOHN CARTER:

EMMA: Oh look, it’s John Carter – and he’s jumping again. Jokes aside, I’m still desperate to see this. The reaction from critics has been really disheartening and hard to escape from, so naturally it’s hard not to take onboard for a film of this scale. However, I do think it’s a pretty solid final trailer for the film and even if it’s more about the carnage than actual narrative, it all works rather well against Disney’s attempt at dubstep. The only thing I wish they wouldn’t have shown is how he defeats that massive lump of white fur. Dammit, Stanton.

NADINE: I remember talking about the first trailer and liking the look of the film, but now I’m not feeling the same. I want the film to be good for Taylor Kitsch, but that might be a little too much to ask of this. It’s definitely appealing to its demographic in the correct way with the techy soundtrack, sci-fi desert setting and lots of weird creatures and action, but it looks like that is all John Carter will have to offer. I hope it’s good, I really do.

THE AVENGERS:

EMMA: If I could have sex with this trailer, I would. I’ve watched it at least thirty times now and cannot work out how this film could possibly fail. In fact the prospect scares me. I have never been so in love with a piece of casting as I have Branagh making Hiddleston Loki, and he actually makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up with his lines in this – the guy’s perfection. Not focusing so much on Iron Man really pays off here, with Thor and Bruce getting far more input, although Cap is pretty quiet. We also get a little more from Agent Coulson and finally a peek at Miss Maria Hill, but wait a minute, DID THE HULK JUST PULL IRON MAN FROM THE FRICKING SKY?!! AND WAIT, IS THAT FIN FANG FOOM, OR……???? Marvelgasm. Absolute Marvelgasm. Oh, and I’m not mentioning the title change….

NADINE: Wow, wow, wow! The battle between the three main superhero focused films is going to be so good this year! I may have peed myself a little at the absolute awesomeness of this trailer – it’s fantastic. I love all the little intros to Steve, Thor, Bruce and Tony (sad there’s not one for Clint, but I’ll let that go as he’s probably considered the newbie out of the characters) and everything is beautifully put into the context of the Marvel Universe. I’m impressed with the visuals, especially the effects of the Hulk and the explosions! The little feuds between The Avengers look comical, but also very physically exciting. At first I wasn’t that impressed with the last part of the trailer. The only thing I got from whatever Iron Man is bringing to the rest of the gang (please leave comments to what or who you think it is as I haven’t read the comics and I’m interested in your views!) is the Michael Bay similarity. I’m sure that’s not the case, and whatever it is will sure as hell be EPIC! I really, really can’t wait for this. I’m sad to hear about the UK title change this week, but this trailer makes up for it!

PIRANHA 3DD:

EMMA: Oh my life I want to cry. But, I have to admit that the marketing for this film is completely on the money. It’s tits, blood and gore mixed with Rhames, Lloyd and The Hoff – absolute B-movie genius. It’s definitely not something I’ll be running out to see (I didn’t see the first anyway), but you have to hand it to the guys behind this for making this horrific mess seem, well, funny. And I’m sure that’s the whole point to it. I think I need to learn to give it a chance – I just hate to see my beloved Doc Brown stoop so low. As for when this will come to the UK, well, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.

NADINE: Oh boy, hi Hoff. I don’t know whether this trailer is ridiculously good for the people who are bound to see this, or bad. I’m thinking good, as I can see this film pulling in a large audience as always. It looks so stupid in parts – the little boy with a small bite on his foot, the Hoff being a lifeguard and talking about natural selection, the piranha in the bath at the end and, my word, what the hell happens when that couple are having sex?! A piranha in her body?! Brilliant. When explaining this trailer to someone, I explained how the films don’t aim to be taken seriously and even though they are gory and tense, they are fun to watch. In that case, this trailer does the film justice and it works.

NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH:

EMMA: Talking of marketing genius, this is one of my favourite teasers I’ve seen in a long time. From the minute the opening bars kick in, a massive grin spread across my face and it’s made even bigger by that stupid sign on the side of their car and that perfect way Ayoade takes off his sunglasses – only to reveal more glasses. I just wish they’d left it at the ‘Coming Soon’ part, as everyone knows at least three of those four leads. And those who aren’t fans of the Frat Pack are hopefully drawn in and really intrigued by Ayoade’s presence. I just don’t think they needed that extra bit of (what is obviously) improv to sell the film. It’s also interesting to note how they seem to be selling this with Jonah Hill as the biggest star. Would that have anything to do with his Oscar nomination, Fox? Yes, I think it might.

NADINE: If you don’t find that last part of the trailer funny, then I don’t know what is wrong with you. The four leads in Neighbourhood Watch couldn’t be more fitting while also being quite different – Richard Ayoade, mostly. But even saying that, the four are quite perfectly bunched together and this is a real tease which will definitely attract a lot of people to the film.

THAT’S MY BOY:

EMMA: Once this trailer hits the two-minute mark, the last forty-five seconds are passable. Yes, Adam Sandler, passable. Watching this trailer makes me realise how much I like Ben Stiller – his dignity is still intact. Sandler just seems to be spewing out whatever barf (see what I did there) he wants as he knows it’ll get picked up. Is there some sort of petition I can sign…?! After Jack And Jill, Sandler seems to be intent on playing larger than life characters, a million miles away from Big Daddy and Click. GOD I MISS THAT SANDLER. On a positive note, Leighton Meester actually comes out of this trailer rather well. Good for her. They did do one thing right, though – only showing a split second of Nick Swardson. It’s not as if he’s been selling films lately, is it…

NADINE: With the exception of the last part, I found the majority of this trailer quite entertaining. I find Andy Samberg’s sense of humour with The Lonely Island hilarious and most of his films I can easily get along with. So pairing with Adam Sandler seems like good casting. However I’m having my doubts if this will be another film that relies solely on crude jokes and offensive banter to make it funny. Leighton Meester will be quite a nice addition to the ensemble, always being charming and she can do funny quite well. For Sandler, it looks way better than Jack And Jill, but I’m not sure if it’s going to be as good as I hope. A few years ago I went to see Funny People expecting it to be absolutely hilarious – Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler sounded perfect, right? Wrong. It was awful and I hated it. I don’t want That’s My Boy to be my next Funny People. I’d rather it beat that.

FRANKENWEENIE:

EMMA: Oh Disney. Just because Alice In Wonderland joined the Billion Dollar Club doesn’t mean anybody gives a shit. People do remember that Tim Burton directed Edward Scissorhands – in fact, that Johnny Depp’s reasonably famous nowadays. Anyway. I love this trailer. The decision to make it animated is brilliant and actually makes it more heartwarming and, though it may be black and white like Burton’s live action original, the mood just fits. The addition of some rather quirky supporting characters is obviously needed to flesh out Burton’s original short, but they look like a lot of fun. I’m also rather enamoured with the part where the poodle gains a white streak to her hair – Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein, anyone?! This is a fabulous teaser, giving us a lot more than I thought we’d get first time around and so, if you haven’t checked out the original short, make sure you do – you can find them over on YouTube.

NADINE: Oh, I love this teaser! Though I’m more interested in a trailer for Dark Shadows, this little treat from Tim Burton surely is indulgent! Everything from the sounds to the creepy visuals screams Burton and I like the black and white/green font style it has, making it seem spookier and more interesting compared to the likes of Corpse Bride. Disney could have done with replacing ‘from the director of Alice In Wonderland’ to something a little more well received, but as this Burton feature is for kids too, it certainly has everything in the correct perspective. Visually, the craftsmanship of the animation is stunning but it’s not anything we haven’t seen before. The story, however, looks entertaining and though not a lot is given away in the teaser, being a story Burton has worked on before, it’s no doubt very important to him and so we can expect wonders. The voice talent (where are Depp and Helena?!) are actors who have either experienced Burton’s world before (Ryder and O’Hara!) or are new for him, but they all fit in this world and I am very impressed with this teaser.

DESPICABLE ME 2:

EMMA: Bananas and potatoes? I am very confused. But then, I have a massive confession to make – I haven’t seen Despicable Me. I am completely aware of these little yellow minions, though, and although it’s just a lot of noise, this will get a lot of kids (and young adults, knowing my friends – “IT’S SO FLUFFY” is said far too much for my liking) stupidly excited. There’s a reason this video has had around nine million views on YouTube. Nine million. Wow.

NADINE: It’s no surprise that the minions from Despicable Me are being used to promote the sequel as they are adorable! Singing ones, too! The party whistle looks like it’ll be a goodun in 3D and if you don’t find this trailer a little cute or funny then you really are not the right audience.

BERNIE:

EMMA: I really, really like the look of this. I don’t hate Jack Black and have a new-found love for McConaughey after Tropic Thunder and The Lincoln Lawyer, so along with the wonderful Shirley MacLaine and the quirky mockumentary style, I’m completely sold. I know the whole plot is pretty much laid out before us, but we’re meant to know what Bernie is accused of doing – that’s the point. I think this has the potential to be a lot of fun and knowing it’s directed by Richard Linklater is more than a little interesting.

NADINE: Surprisingly, this doesn’t look too bad at all. Jack Black has done his fair share of both extremely great, memorable films and those other ones – I know that you have already thought of one in particular. Bernie looks like it could fit in with his good films and I’m hoping for that. There are moments, mostly from McConaughey, which seem like they will be hilarious and the story seems simple but interesting. I like the interview technique used throughout the trailer and think it could lead to something fun – hopefully.

TOUCHBACK:

EMMA: This looked incredibly average until I saw Melanie Lynskey’s in it, but seeing as it’s about American Football and hasn’t yet got a UK release date, it’s more than safe to assume that we’ll have to wait to catch this on TV or DVD. It’s pretty easy to guess what’s going to happen – eventually he’ll realise his family are more important than his highschool fantasies, I’m sure – but there’s still room for some manly emotions in Touchback.

NADINE: As a TV movie, Touchback would be perfect for that Wednesday you have off work or school ill, but as a cinema release maybe not so much. The sport parts don’t look bad at all, but it’s the flashback part of the film I don’t quite get and at the same time I don’t want to.

PARANORMAN:

EMMA: References to The Exorcist and Halloween in an animation? Amazing. Just like Coraline before it, ParaNorman may not be suitable for every child out there, but it sure as hell is refreshing. From its not-quite-perfect clay figures to the constant questioning of whether it’s an animation for kids or kids at heart, it’s pitched absolutely right. I’ve been looking forward to it since the off and I think it’s going to throw us a couple of great surprises as long as they don’t delve too deep into the narrative in future trailers and TV spots. Also, have you SEEN this voice cast?! Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick, Leslie Mann, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, John Goodman, Casey Affleck, Bernard Hill – I’m in heaven. With the undead, apparently.

NADINE: A Frankenweenie teaser and a ParaNorman trailer in one week? How sweet! I think everyone is looking forward to seeing ParaNorman, the stop animated family horror movie, and it’s really looking impressive so far! The animation is of course beautiful and it’s the second claymation film to be released in 3D, so we can be expecting great things. I think the voice talents, especially little Kodi Smit-McPhee, are ideal and really give the film a lot of character. There are a great deal of funny parts seen (the ends of most of the trailers this week are GREAT) and I’m really looking forward to ParaNorman. Now the question is, Frankenweenie or ParaNorman?

THE COLD LIGHT OF DAY:

EMMA: It’s never good when you zone out halfway through a trailer, is it. It’s even worse when you zone out before the halfway mark. Not that unlike the first trailer we posted a while back, there is nothing that excites me about this film. Weaver’s far better than delivering lines as shocking as that stupid thing she says about a gun and I’m hoping Cavill delivers as Supes. This trailer makes The Stath’s Safe look like a masterpiece. Just saying.

NADINE: The biggest problem with this UK trailer and the first one we posted previously is that far too much is given away, leaving me feeling like there will be no other twists or little surprises in stock for audiences. However, Henry Cavill can obviously do action which is promising for Superman (not that anyone really had doubts) and heavy action fans will no doubt adore this!

TINY FURNITURE:

EMMA: Tiny Furniture premiered in America at the 2012 SXSW Festival. That’s ridiculous. It’s not released over here until March 30th after featuring at the Birds Eye Film Festival on the 17th. Talk about a slow release. Taking me until the second half (post “is this a good spot?”) to be completely sold, Tiny Furniture has an intensely obvious satirical edge to it, even if some of the lines appear far from natural. It does look marvellously odd and fun, though, but where’s Merritt Wever in this trailer?! I bloody love her in Nurse Jackie.

NADINE: Oh, I love it already. Tiny Furniture looks wholesome, adorable, sweet and satirical, with a dry sense of humour throughout. Small coming of age dramas nearly always do well as it’s an area that everyone can relate to, with Tiny Furniture really branching out to me. Directed by and starring Lena Dunham, it looks to be something she was very passionate about making and I think it reaches the highest point the film could. Of course, as a little indie flick, the film hasn’t got the biggest names, effects and all that, so Tiny Furniture doesn’t appeal to everyone. But, for the ones that it does, it should be a treat. I can’t wait!

HEADHUNTERS:

EMMA: There’s been a ridiculous amount of buzz over this. Purely because it’s a book adaptation that’s Scandinavian and a thriller, it’s naturally being called ‘The Next Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’, which is stupid. It’s quite obviously nothing like that film other than having a few guns and lots of Scandinavians in it. I’m not a massive fan of voiceovers in trailers, but we just about get away with it here, adding a sense of deliciously sadistic comedy. Not appearing to be your average thriller, Headhunters may look slick and unpredictable, but the best bit is how the trailer leaves you dying to know quite how that car ends up flying through the air.

NADINE: A few weeks back I adored the first trailer for Headhunters and I didn’t think any other trailer for the film could beat it – but this one comes very close. When the Americanised voiceover began I didn’t think it worked, but it adds to the thriller perfectly. It looks quick, exciting and I can’t possibly imagine how it could fail to disappoint. With barely any dialogue and an epic backing track, the tone is set in the action between Aksel Hennie and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau who really look impressive. By the trailer ending as it began, it’s proved that there is much more in stock for us other than what we have seen. Headhunters looks like it’s going to be one highly engaging cinema experience.

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